Nostalgia

UPDATE: IN JANUARY OF 2020, I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL! I am pursuing an MFA in Creative Writing and desperately want to teach. I believe in the power of words and can't think of any other way to retire than by helping others tell better stories. 

I want a new career. I need a new career. I want to go back to school. HOWEVER - starting over is hard on the budget. And school isn't free. School won't fit into the budget when you have kids in college to support. 

I'm good at what I do and believe it's important. Sadly, the companies which need my expertise don't seem to agree. Or rather, they agree only as far as meeting the minimum requirements go. My work is considered a necessary evil and my office is avoided unless there's a problem. And if there's a problem, I'm expected to fix it an hour before it happened and the solutions should never cost any money. I've gotten pretty good at working with no budget but getting superior results. 

I'm jealous of my daughter when she calls telling me her latest collegiate adventures. I miss that part of my life and wish I had appreciated them in all their sweet, cheap, happy glory when I was living them. I miss the late night smoky, beer and cheap wine fueled conversations and arguments which cemented friendships for all time. I miss laughing at the stupid and the brilliant. I miss waiting tables in a bar and walking to my car alone in the dark after my shift. Terrifyingly fearless. Immortal. Responsible and clueless. Perfect. 

I miss those days - so much. 

I had nothing and wanted everything. Now? I have everything and want the nothing.